If you've been imagining my long absence is due to my deep involvement in my writing—wherein I have been slaving away at every odd hour, pounding out thousands of words in pursuit of this dream of mine and the "calling" I profess—I have some disappointing news.
It isn't because of that.
In truth, when I'm doing well (or even reasonably) on the writing, I'm more apt to post, because I want everyone to know I'm not slacking. It's when I'm doing poorly that I am embarrassed to get in here and report my lack of progress. It's been a poor couple of weeks on that front. There have been some good times of late: a good hike with my dad over Father's Day Weekend (despite his calling it repeatedly a "forced death march"); a wedding for dear friends this past weekend and a nice overnight holiday for Joanna and I while the grandparents watched the kiddos; the preschool "graduation" ceremony for the boys and the end of the school year. There have been some good conversations with friends and some old contacts.
But the writing is icky.
Partly, I think, this is due to the fact that I've come to the end of the first section of strict "revision" of old material and now have a large chunk of brand-new prose to be filled in. Back in the NaNoWriMo days, it would be easy to crank out a few thousand words a day, but that was when I could skip around and didn't care about the quality. Now that I've got proscribed events that have to be covered and more concern about making it match the revised quality of what's come so far, I'm feeling stymied (if only because I've always wanted to use the word "stymied" and this is the first time in three and a half decades of life I've had the opportunity). My guess (and I think Slater suggested it) is that I should just switch back to NaNoWriMo-mode for these sections and worry about revising later.
I also know it's just an issue of scheduling. Chris Baty, founder of NaNoWriMo, warned that having a lot of time to write in only makes the writing harder, not easier. I so wanted to disbelieve him, but I don't think I can any more. Despite the fact that this is (in my head, at least) the most important time I've had to work, I'm squandering my days with frivolous details and junk. By evening I'm swearing to do better the next day, but then I end up staying up too late, fiddling with this and that, ignoring my duties until the last minute, then starting off already six steps behind the next day. I know that regular sleep, prayer, avoiding distraction, and dedication are the elements needed, but I seem regularly unable to achieve these. I liken it to a diseased man being told clearly that there is a cure for his disease, one that is simple and not terribly difficult, who nods and smiles and agrees that the cure is wonderful, and then wanders off and totally ignores the cure until his next attack, at which time he takes just enough to keep himself from dying, then goes back to his old habits.
Okay—enough of this. I appreciate you, my loyal fans, for being my sounding boards in all this, but of all the tiresome things to read, self-pity and complaining are among the worst. I'll be trying to get in here more regularly for updates, and I'll be continuing the fight. Your prayers, as always, are desperately needed.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Friday, June 08, 2007
Five Peas
Five. This is how many peas Denver was required to eat at dinner the other night. You'd have thought we asked him to saw off his own limbs. The crying and pleading were interminable. We tried every bit of reasoning ("If you don't start eating some vegetables, you will get sick. The doctor is worried that you're not getting enough good food to eat."); we tried bribery ("We're going to watch a movie, and you can join us as soon as you're done. We're having popcorn."); we tried everything we could think of, but he was not allowed to leave the table until he ate those five peas.
Two hours later, it was bedtime. He stopped whining forty-five minutes in and just decided it was okay if he couldn't leave the table. He was almost cheerful about it.
I love the kid, and I pray that he will hang on to that strong will when he becomes an adult and has to fight for what he believes. But in the meantime, good gravy...
Sorry to fall behind for a bit on the posting—it's been a busy week, as is the normal state of things. My times have been off, and so have I. More than usual, I mean. The writing continues apace, though still more slowly than I'd like. I'm pleased with the revisions and even though it sometimes hurts, making myself stick to the story is a good thing.
I thought I'd fill in here with some hiking stuff that hasn't been talked about, because everyone loves that. Back in April, young master Smedley came out to hike with me for a couple of days, and Dan joined us on the second day. He missed all the fun. This is a photo of dashing Ben at the start of our hike:
And this is a picture taken about fifteen minutes later:
We started in cool weather and ended up with a blizzard by the time we hit the top of the ridge. This is me a bit higher up:
We hiked about eight miles and thankfully the storm passed rather quickly, leaving us to descend to Fawnskin under cloudy, breezy skies. We set up for the night at Little Bear Springs trail camp and the next day Mr. Bloomer joined us for another 13 miles, this along the back of the ridge from Big Bear to Cedar Glen and down into desert-like conditions. Really, we went through every major climate type along the way, so you get your money's worth when you come on a hike with me. Here's my favorite picture of Dan from the trip:
We made good time and had a good time, I think. Here's one more picture—the one that will go on the back of my autobiography about the epic journeys I have undertaken:
On that note, I did a day hike yesterday out at Lake Silverwood—from Silverwood to the 15 freeway, actually. It was something of a test. On average, I have been making about 2 miles an hour while hiking, a number that may sound pathetic to runners but is not too bad for a hiker. Still, if I ever want to get out on the Pacific Crest Trail, that's got to come up. So I tried to see what I could do, hoping to make the 13.8 miles in six hours, but planning on 7.
I made it in five, which means my average was around 2.7 miles an hour. That I can live with, and I think after a rest I could have done another ten or fifteen miles. Whoo hoo!
It was interesting desert country out there, through Horsethief Canyon and Little Horsethief Canyon (I imagine the description is based on the canyon being small, and not the diminutive stealer of horses I kept imagining), moving through yuccas and pines and down through sand dunes and great yawning chasms, and finally into a rocky canyon with a burbling creek at the bottom for the last leg. The weather was great for June, just hitting the low eighties and with a good breeze all day. I felt a bit bad about taking a day from the writing, but I end up getting a lot of really good ideas for the book while I'm out there (most of which I remember and write down in my little notebook), and I needed what the gents up at the Bootcamp call a DAWG day—a "Day Alone With God." (Though "day" shows up twice then, but it sounds very strange to just say, "I need a DAWG." Sounds like Smedley asking for dinner when we were studying in London, actually.) A lot of prayer and sorting things out went on, which was good.
Okay—back to work. Sorry for the blather. Since I'm trying to keep this updated and not spend a lot of time editing it, you get the raw stuff spilling out of my head. Enjoy it anyway.
Two hours later, it was bedtime. He stopped whining forty-five minutes in and just decided it was okay if he couldn't leave the table. He was almost cheerful about it.
I love the kid, and I pray that he will hang on to that strong will when he becomes an adult and has to fight for what he believes. But in the meantime, good gravy...
Sorry to fall behind for a bit on the posting—it's been a busy week, as is the normal state of things. My times have been off, and so have I. More than usual, I mean. The writing continues apace, though still more slowly than I'd like. I'm pleased with the revisions and even though it sometimes hurts, making myself stick to the story is a good thing.
I thought I'd fill in here with some hiking stuff that hasn't been talked about, because everyone loves that. Back in April, young master Smedley came out to hike with me for a couple of days, and Dan joined us on the second day. He missed all the fun. This is a photo of dashing Ben at the start of our hike:
And this is a picture taken about fifteen minutes later:
We started in cool weather and ended up with a blizzard by the time we hit the top of the ridge. This is me a bit higher up:
We hiked about eight miles and thankfully the storm passed rather quickly, leaving us to descend to Fawnskin under cloudy, breezy skies. We set up for the night at Little Bear Springs trail camp and the next day Mr. Bloomer joined us for another 13 miles, this along the back of the ridge from Big Bear to Cedar Glen and down into desert-like conditions. Really, we went through every major climate type along the way, so you get your money's worth when you come on a hike with me. Here's my favorite picture of Dan from the trip:
We made good time and had a good time, I think. Here's one more picture—the one that will go on the back of my autobiography about the epic journeys I have undertaken:
On that note, I did a day hike yesterday out at Lake Silverwood—from Silverwood to the 15 freeway, actually. It was something of a test. On average, I have been making about 2 miles an hour while hiking, a number that may sound pathetic to runners but is not too bad for a hiker. Still, if I ever want to get out on the Pacific Crest Trail, that's got to come up. So I tried to see what I could do, hoping to make the 13.8 miles in six hours, but planning on 7.
I made it in five, which means my average was around 2.7 miles an hour. That I can live with, and I think after a rest I could have done another ten or fifteen miles. Whoo hoo!
It was interesting desert country out there, through Horsethief Canyon and Little Horsethief Canyon (I imagine the description is based on the canyon being small, and not the diminutive stealer of horses I kept imagining), moving through yuccas and pines and down through sand dunes and great yawning chasms, and finally into a rocky canyon with a burbling creek at the bottom for the last leg. The weather was great for June, just hitting the low eighties and with a good breeze all day. I felt a bit bad about taking a day from the writing, but I end up getting a lot of really good ideas for the book while I'm out there (most of which I remember and write down in my little notebook), and I needed what the gents up at the Bootcamp call a DAWG day—a "Day Alone With God." (Though "day" shows up twice then, but it sounds very strange to just say, "I need a DAWG." Sounds like Smedley asking for dinner when we were studying in London, actually.) A lot of prayer and sorting things out went on, which was good.
Okay—back to work. Sorry for the blather. Since I'm trying to keep this updated and not spend a lot of time editing it, you get the raw stuff spilling out of my head. Enjoy it anyway.
Friday, June 01, 2007
Overdoing It
So it turns out that two hours of hiking before getting to work in the morning is probably too much. I was somewhat disappointed—I had hoped I could do more. I hiked up about half of the Exploration Trail, a delightful four-mile path that winds up from the highway in Arrowbear to the Strawberry Peak fire lookout tower. It's a beautiful trail and I'd hiked it last year before the Sierra trek with a full pack. It wiped me out, but I had imagined I'd gotten more hale in the meantime. I had planned to hike it all this morning, but halfway up I decided that four hours might be too much time to spend. Even with only an hour up and an hour back, I was tired and I didn't succeed in getting much of anything done on the writing.
I'd still like to get in the exercise, though. (One of the revelations I had during the hike—and one which I've had on most of the hikes I've been on—is that the best way I could reduce the weight I'm carrying on my journeys is to reduce my weight.) I really enjoyed being out today, and having such an amazing resource right in my backyard is too much to pass up. And, I figure, if I keep hiking more regularly I'll actually build up the stamina I keep imagining I have. Next week, I'm going to try and spend an hour out there: half an hour up the trail (it's pretty much all uphill from the highway), half an hour down. Hopefully that'll leave me enough stamina to write. Otherwise, I'll have to give the forest up for a while (and yes, I have considered writing first and then hiking, but it's getting far too hot in the afternoons now for that).
Well, I'm sure that was a fascinating read for most of you. I think I've pointed out that this is the kind of stuff you get when I blog every day. Lord willing, the writing will move more powerfully tomorrow and I'll have something to report on that front.
I'd still like to get in the exercise, though. (One of the revelations I had during the hike—and one which I've had on most of the hikes I've been on—is that the best way I could reduce the weight I'm carrying on my journeys is to reduce my weight.) I really enjoyed being out today, and having such an amazing resource right in my backyard is too much to pass up. And, I figure, if I keep hiking more regularly I'll actually build up the stamina I keep imagining I have. Next week, I'm going to try and spend an hour out there: half an hour up the trail (it's pretty much all uphill from the highway), half an hour down. Hopefully that'll leave me enough stamina to write. Otherwise, I'll have to give the forest up for a while (and yes, I have considered writing first and then hiking, but it's getting far too hot in the afternoons now for that).
Well, I'm sure that was a fascinating read for most of you. I think I've pointed out that this is the kind of stuff you get when I blog every day. Lord willing, the writing will move more powerfully tomorrow and I'll have something to report on that front.