For you, not for me. Either this short post will really somehow disappoint you--in which case I suggest you seek out psychological counseling--or it will not--in which case you can read the title as wry, ironic understatement. Scarring truth or witty litotes? You decide.
Those big ideas mentioned in my last post continue to buzz and plague my waking hours, but in a dangerous, exciting kind of way I've not experienced before. I honestly don't know how to write about it here. I don't know how much to say or what to express. Partly I'm paranoid that someone more powerful, smarter, and more capable than I (and that would be almost everyone) will read my brilliant ideas and take them over, performing them before I get the chance and stealing my happiness. Just like they did with my idea for a sitcom on HBO starring four sassy women discussing their sex lives in New York. Man, I'm still mad about that one.
Another part of me still lives in that childish, superstitious world in which saying a thing will automatically jinx it. Don't laugh--Devin knows what I'm talking about. Somehow discussing an idea can sometimes rob it of its vitality, and often will mystically cause it to backfire and fail. Perhaps it's just the human capacity to remember failure more vividly than success (or at least my capacity to do so), so that those times I've boldly proclaimed my intentions and then failed to deliver on them resonate in my memory most fiercely.
There's also the syndrome we're probably all familiar with: public reaction. When others are less enthused about your ideas than you yourself--or actively seek to point out why your plan will fail--science has shown conclusively that it sucks out up to 5 years of your life and contributes to a 187% increase in the likelihood of heart disease, cancer, and spontaneous decapitation. Okay, so I made that up, but that's how it feels. I suppose that if a plan can't stand the test of public scrutiny--either convincing the naysayers or being worth plunging on ahead despite them--then maybe it wasn't meant to be, but a little breathing room for the cute little new idea is perhaps in order.
I'll be unloading yet more in the coming days, in part at least because I'll need the help of every human I've ever known to pull it off. Let's just say this: Lord willing, there may be some major changes in my life in the coming days. How soon those days come and what form they will take are all up to Him. I'm ecstatic and terrified at the same time.
And if that isn't a hook to keep you coming back, I don't know what is.
G'night, all.
1 comment:
My reading this morning was in Jeremiah. Specifically chapters 42-44. Apparently, there was this group of Jews left in Jerusalem after most had been carried off by the Babylonians. And they were all planning on heading for Egypt, where they thought they'd be safe. You can see where it would seem safer there. Egypt was a strong nation.
But God told them not to go. He told them to stay, and that he would protect them. It was a crazy idea - and didn't seem that smart. Their city had just been flattened by the Babylonians.
They chose to go to Egypt, ignoring God's advice, and - of course - Egypt was soon conquered by the Babylonians.
It made me think of you, Mike. The dangerous path is a great one to be on if its where God wants you to be. Can't wait to see this unfold - crazy is good! :)
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