That's about my mental state at the moment. I was doing fine today, bar being behind in grading. (But when is that new?) Then just about 3 in the afternoon, I suddenly started sweating for no reason and the room was spinning. I had that burning sensation in my sinuses that screams the warning that illness is coming on.
And here I am, and it has come on. My eyes are burning now, and only a constant drip of honey-laced tea is keeping my throat in check. I'm about to go to bed.
I'm afraid to, actually. I was discussing with Chris the other day that I feel caught in an endless cycle of failure. I attempt to get up early; I fail. Even when I go to bed early, somehow my previous sins come back and keep me from rising on time. I'll have one glorious day of not feeling rushed followed by two weeks of jumping out of bed, leaping through the shower, and trying not to kill myself in getting to class on time, usually arriving unprepared and confused. So then I try to stay up late for the time I missed in the morning, only that doesn't work because, much as I want to deny it, I do not do good work at night (the excellent quality of this blog excepted, of course). And that means--as any reasonably sane person can see immediately--to further difficulties in the morning.
There's a psalm to the effect that it will profit you not to wake early or stay up late, but my disease-addled brain is unable to help me find it, and my spleen is pretty rotten at looking up bible verses, so I'm not trying any further.
Oh, wait--I found it at Bible Gateway.com. Here you go:
Psalm 127:2--"In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat-for He grants sleep to those He loves." (NIV)
Not sure what to do then. Go to bed early and sleep in? And yes, even my sickness-ridden mind knows there's more depth and complexity in that statement than I'm mentioning here--I just can't quite think it through clearly at this point. It'll come to me.
Goodnight, all.
1 comment:
I suppose you believe that your episodes of dizziness and sweats are a sign of a viral invasion of your entrails. Possibly so. But it may do well for you, knowing your family history and varied gene pool, to suggest you consider a 3 hr GTT (glucose tolerance test). These are also the classic signs of diebetes. Not that you should suddenly scurry about with fright holding your hands upon the sides of your head and desperately calling out "Woe is me". It's one of those things that requires calm investigation at the incipient level to provide a life style guide to fend off the "disease" till much later in life.
Mostly it is a change in eating habits that encourages grazing (continuous small snacks that provide a consistant level of carbs to the blood stream). It may also help with your eratic energy level that prevents you from rising early.
Of course you will become one of God's scurying creatures relying on nibbles of nuts, grapes, carrots, raisins, and the like that provide complex carbs and a certain teethy satisfaction in the consuming thereof.
Or... it may well be that it is, after all, just another bothersome cold.
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