Were you aware that the world is in no danger of a shortage of SpongeBob Squarepants-related merchandise? If you have no children, you might not have realized this and have spent nights lying awake, staring in agony at the shadows playing across the ceiling, worrying that the nation's youth would have no access to SpongeBob on every possible consumer product in existence.
I was reminded of this important truth while searching for the far superior Thomas the Tank Engine-related decorations for the boys' party. While there are truckloads of such items, there are far fewer of them than are given over to Dora, SpongeBob, the hordes of Disney-created beings, Bob the Builder, and a host of others. I blame Americo-Canadian arrogance--Thomas is a pleasant, quiet little show charmingly crafted by pleasant, quiet old men in England and lacks both hipness and edge. Admittedly, it's almost sonambulistically quiet, but it's nice without being annoying. I have to say, however, that were I a resident of the island of Sodor, home of Thomas and his train pals, I don't think I'd choose to travel by the Sodor Railway. Despite Sir Topham Hatt's stern, Churchillian demeanor and dedication to high-quality talking steam enginesin the face of the paradigm shift to diesel engines and the vast economic pressures it must put on his operations, he must have the worst safety record in history. Every episode someone is crashing into something; trains go underwater, smash through stations, fall into collapsing mine shafts or get covered with chocolate... The engines are also constantly getting into petty arguments over perceived slights and misunderstandings, causing endless delays and incorrect routing. I think I'd take Bertie the Bus to my intended destinations, is what I'm saying.
Speaking of names, it is vital you recognize all the trains on sight. Sure, it might not matter to you which diesel is Salty and which is Mavis; the differences in wheel count among the identically-colored Thomas, Edward, and Gordon; which of the twin engines is Bill and which is Ben; the operational differences between Trevor the Traction Engine and Terrence the Tractor; or why Thomas is "reliable" while James is "splendid," but it will matter to your child. Infinitely. Woe betide the visiting grandparent who doesn't know who is being asked for; his or her evening will be filled with pain. When Nathaniel demands to know what Henry is going to say to Toby, he wants a Henry-specific answer. Knowing the history between the two trains--that Henry has a new "shape" which helps him go faster and keeps him from getting sick like he used to (we have yet to discover what his old shape was...) while Toby is a tram engine who was almost scrapped before Sir Hatt had him refurbished to carry passengers and thus shares some traits with Henry--is vital. You must convey their shared pathos while hinting subtly at Toby's possible envy of Henry's more thorough reconstruction or else you have failed.
What can I say? I've raised children with high expectations when it comes to imaginary play. I won't apologize.
5 comments:
Congratulations. You're raising your boys to become trainspotters. I guess it's our only hope that they could come to embrace one of the few hobbies that's even nerdier than ours.
Having said that, I'm quite pleased that their taste in animated shows are tending toward the subtle and nuanced rather than the brash, garish, and grating variety that people like my classmates insist on churning out.
Thank you Michael. Your posting was an amusing respite from a most dreary day. And Devin, my dear fellow, there are no hobbies nerdier than yours. Unless predicting global warming trends via computer modeling can be considered a "hobby".
That depends, Ben - are you being paid to do it?
I define a hobby as something that captures your passion and something you love to do regardless of monetary compensation. Some are lucky enough to make a living from their hobby but in regards to your previous posting I was referring to an activity motivated by pure enjoyment, not pay. I was trying to image what the boys could be interested in that would be nerdier than our interests. Modeling global warming for fun rests in that category. Cheers
I've found if I don't know what a train should be like, I just act cross. Seems like someone is cross in every story, so I figure I'm safe with that...
And yes. Riley is a *huge* Thomas fan.
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